BONUS MATERIAL from the Washington County Fair: Notes to Self

Don’t forget walking in the woods with Stella (and Susana and Divinity the dog) down by the stream, her telling me about skunk radishes and how her grandpa taught her to recognize them

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Listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen listen ask questions listen listen listen listen listen

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Don’t forget laughing with Stella, L.¬†making her phone calls for the campaign against the Koch brothers’ influence at her university, Stella playing with Rachel’s hair, Susana putting Stella to bed, Susana grappling with Stella about brushing her hair, drinking tea, Stella’s mustache, talking with James on the phone about The Mikado — “Sakiko reminded me that it’s about compassion” — and asking him to bring down paper and card stock

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I want this to be a narrative but NOT just of me. I’m learning but I don’t want it JUST to show me learning. How can I make it about the who and what?

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Don’t forget walking in Potter’s Woods, looking at mushrooms with Stella, Susana looking up Potter’s Woods on her phone, Stella picking low-growing berries like mini blackberries (dewberries?) and Susana saying not to eat them because they were “fox berries” meaning animals could have peed on them

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Dispatch: I ask four adults who are standing around, looking as though they’re waiting, if they’d keep an eye on the booth while I pee, as long as they’re there. They immediately look suspicious and closed and move away. I’m filled with anger and hatred instantly, like someone has to be the worst person in the world in any given situation. Someone has to be the worst person in the world, the magnet for rage, the market for hate, the person who if they just died in pain everything would be fine. The grasses would rise slowly. Return to topic of blame.

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Don’t forget that Stella asked her dad for a wildlife guide and he got it for her, don’t forget seeing the deer behind the stone wall near the compost in the a.m.

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Don’t forget how for five days I did very few things and did them for a long time and most of them were nice, don’t forget Divinity’s gray muzzle, her spay tattoo, her eating spaghetti

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Theme of people who don’t want me to worry — they’re often older to me and the things they say are like they’re reassuring me, like the “all the same in a million years” people and the woman who said something that comforts her and then added, “I mean for you!”

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Don’t forget the ways nature guide conventions have influenced the way I draw

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What is up with wanting to be the only person in “nature”?

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Don’t forget the line of moss where water drips off the roof in front of the booth bay

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Don’t forget the smells of 2-cycle, armpit sweat, petrichor, barbecue sauce

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Don’t forget big yellow gibbous moon rising over the road on the way to Susana’s on the first night

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2 thoughts on “BONUS MATERIAL from the Washington County Fair: Notes to Self

    • Thanks, Jaime, and thanks for talking with me! I’m planning to use the winter (when weather conditions will be less booth-friendly) to figure out the best shape, beyond / in addition to this one, for presenting some of the things people told me and some of the responses I had.

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